


Got Wood?

by NancyBrown



Category: Torchwood
Genre: M/M, Torchwood Cliche Fest, Trojan Horse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-01-29
Updated: 2012-01-29
Packaged: 2017-10-30 07:58:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 478
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/329558
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NancyBrown/pseuds/NancyBrown
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Jack brings a package inside. He shouldn't have.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Got Wood?

**Author's Note:**

  * For [queenfanfiction](https://archiveofourown.org/users/queenfanfiction/gifts).



> trope: Trojan Horse  
> warnings: Owen POV, character death (Jack)

A bolt of hot plasma shot over the top of the desk where Owen and Jack crouched. Across the way, the girls hid under another desk. They were trapped until and unless Ianto got back here. Gwen had tried to call him before her mobile was disintegrated. She wasn't sure she got through in time.  
  
Owen said, "Let me get this clusterfuck straight. Jones is off having a holiday with his relatives for two days and because you're his dirty little secret, you didn't go with him."  
  
"Hey, I am many dirty things to Ianto, but I'm not little _or_ his secret. We had dinner with his sister last week. She's cute, in a comfy chair sort of way."  
  
Owen was familiar with the expression passing over Jack's face. "If you suggest a threesome, he will shoot you dead where you stand."  
  
Jack sighed. "You're probably right."  
  
"So Jones is out, and we closed the stupid Tourist office, meaning the packages he normally receives and checks over for anything suspicious piled up outside the door. And you brought them in."  
  
"I couldn't leave them out there."  
  
"Yes, you could have!" shouted Gwen from across the room.  
  
"You brought them inside," Owen continued, "and despite knowing the protocol, despite having written many of the protocols, and having personally trained every person on the team in said protocols on handling unknown items, you fucking opened the packages without scanning them first!"  
  
"It was only one and I said I was sorry." He looked contrite, and Owen would almost feel bad. Jack had spent the two days of Ianto's holiday moping and distracted. He'd also spent them bitchy, which was why Owen refused to care.  
  
Owen risked a glance over the top of the desk. The deadly item swivelled back and forth, covering the whole Hub. Someone had sent it to them, and Jack had fucking brought the fucking thing fucking inside.  
  
"And none of that would have been more than your usual distraction brought on by a lack of getting your cock sucked, except that the item you then activated was what, Tosh?"  
  
From the other desk came an angry, "It was a horse!"  
  
Gwen added, "It was made of wood!"  
  
Jack said, "How was I supposed to know?"  
  
"You've never heard of the Trojan horse?"  
  
"Isn't that a kind of condom? Those big ones that taste like peppermint?"  
  
Tosh said, "I think I can reach my mobile. Jack, can you draw its fire?"  
  
Jack winced, then dove out in plain view of the horse. More plasma bolt blasted. One of them hit, killing Jack for the second time today. Tosh shouted her triumph as she reached her mobile phone and flipped it open.  
  
"Call Jones, see if he can disarm this fucking thing from outside," said Owen. He mentally added, _and never let him take a holiday alone again._


End file.
